Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
