Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
