So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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