gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
