this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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