If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
