i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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