He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
