glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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