how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize