Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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