would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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