we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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