i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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