we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
