Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
