I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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