The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
