dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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