I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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