Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
