If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I want to fling myself into the sun
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
