im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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