it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
