So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
