hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
