we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
