Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
