O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
how does that bad decision feel?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
