I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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