Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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