I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
