Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize