She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Too much gin, very little bucket
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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