I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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