it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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