Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
