Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
