I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
