I wannas sexs uuuuu
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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