Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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