Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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