and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
