all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
