I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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