Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My dick has a subreddit
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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