i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
