It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
