Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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