Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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